Self Motivation verses Misery and Suffering
It is fairly well know from Eastern philosophy such as Buddhism that ‘we are born into misery and suffering’ but few contemplate why and what its purpose is.
Mostly we attract and set up all kinds of misery and suffering in our lives as it is the number one driving force behind the motivation to learn and grow. I read a Zen quote once that says “the tree that stops growing, starts dying” and this is so very true for many life areas like relationships and career and intimate expression.
When there is no growth in sex and intimacy, it may start to get boring and either drifts off or goes the other way and gets kinky or weird which is still a slide away from our intended growth toward making love. The next thing you know we have endless misery and suffering resulting in the death of sexual expression.
In relationships, families and friendships it is the same thing, if there is no growth people will slip into drama, conflict, talking about other people’s business and often cover or mask with food addictions, alcohol, cigarettes or drugs.
In our workplace and career if we have no personal or professional growth then we create in-fighting, stress, drama and dissatisfaction which leads to high staff turnover. We tend to cause or set up misery and suffering in our lives which leads to burn out or us quitting and moving on to find more greener pastures.
People who do not self motivate and grow from these experiences set up the same patterns and programs time and again. Because each situation is different with different people and circumstances, people often miss that pattern and common denominator – themselves.
The answer lies within self motivation, personal growth and learning from each and every situation. Think of a person who is successful and happy in life and ask yourself - do they have the skill to self motivate or are they driven by misery and suffering? Do they initiate and self start? Also know that having the ability to be a self motivated person is not hereditary (misery and suffering is!!!) it is something that is learnt, developed and integrated into all areas of life.
The first priority is to enquire into the personal aspects of misery and suffering, that is, all the areas you are not happy and satisfied with and initiate small changes to inspire growth. Ask yourself what areas in your life you can change in order for you to become a better person, partner, parent, work colleague etc. Can you think of one small action or step you could take in your life now to self motivate change?
The second and most important is to learn from the infinite signs for growth and development that life puts before us. With hindsight, may times we see that the signs were there but we did not take notice of them as we were too wrapt up in misery and suffering to take them as an indicator towards a more positive direction. Other times we get so sucked into the vortex of other’s misery and suffering and then forget about our own self motivation in a positive direction.
As a healer, mentor and life coach, I help people everyday and have learnt the skill to be able to have compassion, listen and help without taking on their issues and I have done this by self enquiring and anchoring off ‘misery and suffering’ to inspire my own personal growth. Rather than getting sucked or pulled in, I ‘anchor off’ and become more and more grateful for my life and for my learnt skill of ‘continued growth and learning from everyone and everything in life’.
At first it is a necessity (to stop the misery and suffering), then it becomes a habit, and then it becomes a natural flow of life filled with amazing synchronicity, newness and wonder.
Life goes from ‘misery’ to ‘a mystery’ to ‘mystically’ (having mystical experiences).
With life and technology speeding up at such a rapid rate, no wonder the personal development industry is one of the fastest growing in the world today. Depression and suicide are major concerns in our society these days because as life and technology speeds up each and every aspect of it has the potential to liberate or create more ties and bonds to the wheel of misery and suffering unless we self motivate and learn the lesson involved.
It is important to note that “the misery is optional”. We can't stop what happens in life but we can choose how we live it with the self motivation to change and grow. We may injure ourself and whine about it all day or we have the choice to address the physical aspect with some remedy, detach from it and get on with our day.
Key questions to ask of your self, family, friends and career are:
- Where am I an inspiration?
- Do I inspire and motivate myself and others or do I inspire and create drama, misery and suffering?
- Am I self motivated or do I need misery and suffering or other people to help or push me to take action?
- Where is the growth in my life? What small changes can I make that will inspire growth and new experiences?
- To grow means to change so am I okay with change? Do I have an open and an eagerly creative mind that is ready for positive influence to help inspire growth and change? Or am I stuck in my old ways, patterns, behaviours and moods?
- Am I open to opportunity? Do I see the signs and learn from life? Do I see the negative cycles, patterns, programs and perceptions and understand what lessons need to be learnt?
- Where has my character and personality developed recently? Did you get the growth yourself or did you get it from reading books and articles such as this. Did a coach, mentor,or friend provide the inspiration?
- Do I have the initiative to self start?
- Do I have the ambition and drive needed to breakthrough and follow through?
- Am I going to need to think outside the square and be more creative to get growth in areas of my life where it is needed?
Above all, this article is intended to get one clear message across and that is, unless you learn to SELF motivate, grow and learn from life lessons (personal development), not only will you be born into misery and suffering, you will die that way too!
Have you ever tried a new sport and found it quite difficult to get quick results, like surfing, golf or tennis and then had just one or two lessons and discovered that you were up, up and away? Contemplate this as you book in for a few personal development sessions with me, either in person or from anywhere in the world via Skype.
With 2012 right at our door, do you really think there is going to be a chauffeur turn up at your door, get you showered and dressed, carry you to the car, pour you a glass of champagne, take you to the airport and piggy-back you through customs and onto the plane? Doubt it, best put the alarm on now, get yourself out of bed, spend your hard earned cash on a ticket and get your self there any way you can!
Hope this helps
Peter O’Neill
iam@peteroneill.com.au
Tags: depression help and advice, distance healing, kinesiology, relationship help and advice