Losing a loved one is hard to accept, but when it is one’s family, which is lost, the acceptance is harder still. Such an incident not only leaves people heartbroken, but traumatized as well. Unless such emotional shocks are handled properly, one may become unfit for leading a meaningful life. That is why if you have lost your family, you must make special effort to come out of your grief and start life afresh. Right now life may seem meaningless without your loved ones; but you must understand that you are not the only person who has lost his family. This has happened to other people as well. If they have been able to pick up the threads and start life afresh, why cannot you. Here are some hints that may help you in the process.

• Grieve. –Losing a family, close relative or a friend is painful. Cry with all your might if you have to and you want to. Every person has their own different ways of dealing with loss. Some would not talk much while others channel their grief to more worthwhile things. Whichever yours is, you would have to realize that you need to go through that phase. Just make sure that it would not be harmful to other people and you if it cannot be beneficial. Mourning will be your best bet. Being on a denial or clamming up will not be healthy for you and people who cares for you and shouldn’t be options.

• Time is the best healer – You may not think this to be plausible, but in time, you will get over your grief and will want to start life afresh. Therefore, if you find yourself impatient with your grief and want to do something drastic, do reason with yourself. Each person takes up different timeframe to deal with grief of such magnitude; so if you are taking a little longer than usual, so be it. Only keep yourself focused on certain points. Never think life is useless without your loved ones. Indeed, many other people need you and your help; reach out to them.                                                                                                       

• Do not blame yourself – In many cases, the survivors blame themselves for the death. They believe that the death has occurred just because they have not done enough. Sometimes, they believe they could have prevented the death if they had acted differently. Some people go to such length that they start punishing themselves for the death of their loved ones. While there can be some truth in such thoughts in some cases, it is useless pondering over such subjects now. Know that neither your repentances nor the tortures you are inflicting on yourself can bring your family back; therefore refrain from it. Instead of looking back, try to look forward.

• Put others’ grief before yours – Indeed, in our grief, we often forget that we are not the only one affected by the deaths. If you have lost your family, you have a right to grieve.  At the same time remember that, your spouse will have parents and siblings; they too are grieving. May be they are not so expressive in their grief, but nonetheless, the grief is there. Therefore, accommodate their wishes not only while arranging the memorial plan, but later on too. This will help you to come into terms with your own loss.

• Give clues to others how you want to be treated. –Even close friends will be quite hesitant with how they should treat you. They will be worried to do anything that will make you feel like a fragile thing and might end up doing what they dread. It will be better if you would at least give them some clues in order to help them out and avoid sticky situations that you could have avoided. You may do it through telling them so in your personalized thank you notes after the burial.

• Seek professional help – However, if you or your friends feel you are taking too long a time to come out of the grief, do not hesitate to take professional help. Many people are equipped to provide such grief counseling. If you are religious, you can talk to your pastor first, but if it does not help, you must ultimately see a psychiatrist. A few sessions with a certified psychiatrist may help you to begin life afresh.

As I have already said, accepting the loss of a family or a loved one can be traumatic, but one must make an effort to come out of it. If you take up the right approach, it is not a very difficult job to do.

 Article by Dunbar Winston of FuneralesReforma, who is a specialist in hispanic estate planning. For more information on servicios funerarios and cremacion Guatemala, visit his site today.

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