Lots of marriages and relationships these days sadly don't work out and some of those situations involve children. This is why we are seeing more and more step families. People feel they are more able to admit a relationship has failed rather than the old excuse of staying together for the sake of the children, which inevitably makes things worse and unfair on the little ones.

But when you're on the outside looking in, it can be very hard. I am talking from the point of view of the non parent. In other words, the person with whom the parent makes a new relationship with. It can be very hard for them to bond and become part of this suddenly created family situation.

Know that the child may well push you away for sometime, you can be seen as a threat, home wrecker, they may even call you these names. Understand that they are hurt and it will pass. When they are calm talk to them, it could be about anything maybe your collection of cake decorating books or your passion for clothes and shoes, you will find you have common ground.

This doesn't mean however that the child should be left to walk all over the family and start to rule the roost as it were. They still need rules and regulations and know that the step parent is there to enforce the rules as well. If this isn't done then you could end up with a tear away on your hands.

Even if you have a busy lifestyle and might find you're spending your spare time with your new partner, don't forget his or her children. Try and set some time aside for you all to do something together or even just you and the child, share cake decorating tips, bake something, or even go out to the park and show just how much fun you can be!

The main thing to remember here is that time will be the biggest factor in situations like these, the longer you stay around and make sure that you take part in any activities the more relaxed the kid will feel. Share wisdom from how to decorate cake to the latest cheat on their video game!

The parent also needs to remember that they are still there for them no matter what and that the step parent isn't replacing the other parent who isn't resident with them. Make sure that your kids know they can come to you at any time with any questions they may have.

Tags: advice for step parents, broken homes, relationship breakdown, step families